Our views on money are greatly influenced by how we were raised and what money concepts we were made to believe growing up. Most of us were introduced to the same sequence of life events: going to school, moving on to college, and then finding a job. This particular format made us think that once we’ve found a job, we won’t have to worry about money anymore. And, boy, were we wrong.

Most of us who are actually lucky to have found jobs live from paycheck to paycheck. This means having enough money to pay the monthly bills, have enough food on the table, go out a few nights every month, and possibly get to travel once or twice every year; but you know for sure you’d want more out of this life if you had the chance. You want to try out new dishes at fancy restaurants without having to live on instant noodles in the next few days. For sure, you want to travel more, fly business class, and stay in hotels with more than 3 stars. You definitely want to have enough funds to save and invest. 

How we go about our finances is deeply rooted in the mindset we are accustomed to. Therefore, transforming this mindset is a great step in improving the way we deal with financial matters. Here are a few tips on how to start your own transformation.

The story we tell ourselves every day becomes our very life, so be mindful of your script. Examine your inner dialogue and see if you have been too hard on yourself when it comes to money matters. Transform this inner chatter by adopting more hopeful and positive insights. If you have been beating yourself up for the student loan debts you haven’t finished paying off yet, try focusing on how much you’ve paid, rather than how much you still owe the next time you think about it. It’s simple, but it’s a start.

This is important to remember especially in this day and age when we have all-day access to the life of others -- or at least the way they curate it online. It’s easy to feel a pang of jealousy when you see your feed filled with travel photos, new purchases, weddings, and babies. Social media have been notorious in making people feel depressed, so never lose sight of the fact that you own your financial journey; because if you do, you might end up spending money on things you don’t need just to “keep up.”

Speaking of spending money on things you don’t need, we sometimes spend money to regain some sense of control. However, after using all that money and see how the impulsive buy messed up your monthly budget, you lose your sense of control again. The cycle goes on and on. When you find yourself scouring online shopping sites at the end of a very stressful workday, stand up and take a walk instead; and remind yourself that buying a second parka jacket (which will probably end up sitting unused at the back of your closet) will just stress you out more down the road.

It may be hard to be positive about all the money you owe, but you can give it a try if it means lifting the weight off your shoulders somehow. Decide that you want to get out of debt soon and make a debt plan, complete with timelines, action items, and personal deadlines. Create a tracker of your progress in paying off your debt and view it exactly like that: progress. You are moving forward and out of debt, and soon enough you will have more funds to move around with. 

It takes effort and courage to change your money mindset, and these tips can get you started. In a nutshell, these tips emphasize that in order to unlearn negative views on money, you must stay on top of your inner dialogue and thought patterns with regards to your finances. By doing so, you are leaving room for more productive and positive ideas on how to elevate your financial situation.

This article originally appeared on Payment1.com.

This article was originally published by Uncapped Mortgage

Gone are the days when the American dream means climbing the corporate ladder. Over the last years, the mindset of the American worker has shifted to valuing flexibility and freedom over stability. Self-employment continues to be a rising trend as employees leave their day jobs to do freelance work or start their own business. 

One of the major challenges self-employed individuals face is managing cash flow. Since you do not have the regular pay that a day job provides, not to mention health insurance and tax duties, it can be challenging when all these things fall on your shoulders. Saving and budgeting can be taxing, too, as there will be months when you’ll be flushed with cash, while there will be months when you’ll need to tighten your belt a little. 

Whether you are a business owner or a freelancer, this is very crucial. Good financial planning can determine the success of your new venture. Total all your income sources. Make sure to list down all your expenses every month. Determine all the fixed costs such as monthly bills, subscriptions, and mortgage, which takes up a huge part of your budget. You may want to consider paying off your mortgage early to get it out of the way and have more room in your budget for other things like savings and retirement fund.  After listing down the fixed costs, add the variable expenses such as payment to freelancers if you hire some, and any other expense that vary month-to-month. By doing this, you’ll know the amount of cash you need every month to live comfortably. Stick to the budget as much as you can. There are plenty of budgeting apps and tools that can assist you with this.

Do not undersell yourself and do not be shy to increase your rates as you gain more experience. In terms of billing, it’s better to be billed in installments rather than in lump sum at the end of a project. It would be harder to budget your money if your cash comes in once every three months rather than having them sent in monthly installments.

And maintain it. It is important to always save for the rainy days. An emergency fund can save you from high-interest debts in times of financial stress. Make sure you have a fund, ideally a 6-month cushion - for when something unexpected happens such as a big client backing out. This 6-month cushion cannot be built right away, but you must work towards building it as soon as you begin getting paid. Set a certain percentage of your income to be allotted to this fund every month.

Now that you are self-employed, you no longer have your HR department’s compensation and benefits people to look after your taxes. You must do them yourself now. Be aware of the tax bracket you are in now that you have gone solo. If you are a business owner, seek the help of a financial advisor in determining the best entity type to register your business as.

Time is money. If you think it would be best to delegate some of your tasks to freelancers in order for you to focus on more crucial tasks, hiring help could be a great idea.

Generally, people think of debt as something to avoid. Debt usually means “bad” and no debt means you are better off financially. So the idea of using debt to build wealth can seem a bit dubious. Can you really build wealth using debt?

In order to answer this question, we first need to know that there are two kinds of debt. There is good debt and bad debt. And though the thought of debt being “good” seems counter-intuitive, the fact remains that some debt is actually good.

Good debt is a debt that will increase your finances over time. So something like a small business loan is good debt because you use the money you borrowed to build up your business, thus, bulking up your finances in the long run. Good debt also has a smaller interest. So while you are expanding your business with your small business loan, you aren’t paying an exorbitant amount in interests. This type of debt also allows you ample time to pay back your debt.

Bad debt is the exact opposite. This kind of debt has astonishingly high-interest rates and usually involves some form of collateral. There is also a very short turnaround time for you to pay your debt, plus interest, back. Some examples of bad debt are credit card debts, car title loans, and payday loans. A loan of $100 will have you paying back nearly the same amount in interests alone. Bad debt will sink you financially faster than a boat riddled with holes.

So now that you know the two types of debt, you can probably guess which one can be used to build wealth. The question now is “how”.

A good way is the example stated above. Use debt to expand your business. If you do not have a business, use debt to invest. It could be in property or in various investment funds. Whatever you decide to invest in, it is important to know your risk tolerance and how much you are willing to invest.

The principle of leverage can help you out as well. Say for example you are investing 100 dollars of your own with an expected return rate of 10%. This will earn you a return of $10. If you borrowed money with an interest rate of less than 10%, you can add to your initial $100 investment and still earn from it despite having to pay off the debt you used to invest. You can diversify your financial portfolio using this strategy as well; borrow to invest in different institutions and different kinds of investments.

There are a few to consider when using debt to invest. Think of your tolerance for debt. Can you realistically pay off your monthly payments? Can you pay off that debt within the time frame or do you need more time? Consider your cash flow as well. You need to make sure that you have enough income to pay off your debt.

So the answer to the question can debt be used to build wealth is yes, you can. You just need to choose the right kind of debt, invest in the right things, and keep in mind your debt tolerance.

Male contestants on The Bachelorette, however, spend a lot less on appearances. How much do they spend to be on the show? Anywhere from $500 to $3,500 in an attempt to woo the bachelorette. 

When it comes to the real world, the costs of courtship are lower, but there’s still a discrepancy in how much men and women spend in their journeys for love.

As you might’ve guessed, it costs more to date in major cities: $2,069 in the Big Apple, $1,816 in Chicago, and $1,788 in Washington, D.C. Despite the major costs related with courting, talking about cash in a relationship is tricky. Here are our tips for approaching the subject:

You also don’t want to assume you know what the true costs of courtship entail. A good friend of mine was getting annoyed that his girlfriend wasn’t paying her fair share. He was paying for most of the meals and movie tickets. Plus, he had to fork over gas money to drive out to see her. When he brought this up to her, she pointed out that she had made up for it by buying pricey lingerie. This was a “hidden” cost that my friend hadn’t even considered. If you’re not sure what your date is thinking, don’t be afraid to ask. That can help prevent conflict and bouts of resentment.

In the early days of the relationship, it might be best to observe instead of outright asking. You can learn a lot about someone’s approach to money in the spending decisions they make and their lifestyle choices. Are they are a saver or a spender? Do they generally seem optimistic about their finances, or can you sense glimmers of pessimism? Piecing together these hints can help you figure out whether they have a healthy relationship with money.

And whatever you do, don’t judge. People might feel shame about not earning enough, or about their debt situation. (Yes, debt shame is a very real thing.) If you’re going to approach a tricky subject, come from a place of empathy and understanding.

Yes, it’s a lot. But the last thing you want in your relationship is financial infidelity, or keeping a money secret from your S.O. If you don’t know where your partner stands, you won’t be able to build a life together based on shared values. Talking about money is oftentimes difficult and scary. But doing so will help you build trust. 

Know There Will Be Differences

My partner and I have pretty different ways on how we treat our money. I am super cautious, and need a lot tucked away for emergencies to feel safe. My partner feels comfortable having a smaller cushion for his rainy day fund. My threshold for what makes me feel safe isn’t the same for him. He doesn’t own a credit card, and pays for everything upfront. While I pay off my credit card balance in full each month, I love racking up those credit card points! 

Pencil in Money Dates 

Most of my coupled money nerd pals carve out time to go on money dates with their significant others. It’s a perfect time to discuss progress on shared money goals, share wins, and hash out any issues. You can make it fun. Get out of the house, and chat over coffee or ice cream. As you most likely each lead busy lives, you can squeeze in a time to chat while driving to dinner once a week.

This article was originally published at HiCharlie.com.