The Bogo Times

The game of love can cost a pretty penny. Take the popular reality TV series The Bachelor. Female contestants are expected to bring their own wardrobe for the entire show. (That’s seven whole weeks!) This includes the entire kit and caboodle, from stiletto heels and evening gowns to hair products, accessories, and makeup to city cruising and hiking outfits. The cost for these single ladies? Anywhere from $1,800 to a whopping $8,000. Looking good on the prowl ain’t cheap!

Getting the bachelor to ask you, “Will you accept this rose?” could add up quickly.

Male contestants on The Bachelorette, however, spend a lot less on appearances. How much do they spend to be on the show? Anywhere from $500 to $3,500 in an attempt to woo the bachelorette.

When it comes to the real world, the costs of courtship are lower, but there’s still a discrepancy in how much men and women spend in their journeys for love.

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The Costs of Dating

According to Match.com’s 7th annual Singles in America survey, men spent an average of $1,855 per year on dating, whereas women spent $1,423, per Mental Floss. This includes throwing down dough on eating out, entertainment, clothes and personal grooming, and on dating apps. Singles are spending roughly $80 per date and going on about 20 dates each year.

As you might’ve guessed, it costs more to date in major cities: $2,069 in the Big Apple, $1,816 in Chicago, and $1,788 in Washington, D.C. Despite the major costs related with courting, talking about cash in a relationship is tricky. Here are our tips for approaching the subject:

Don’t Assume

Whether it’s what we observe from our parents, or what’s been culturally instilled in us from an early age, we might bear assumptions that no longer ring true in our modern age.

For example, who takes the bill at the end of a date? Per the Singles in America Survey, nearly half of men believe in footing the bill, while only 36 percent of women think that men still should. What’s more, when it comes to going splitsies, 71 percent of males enjoyed it when a woman offered to pay, and 78 percent of women said they had offered. When my partner and I first started dating, we went Dutch from the get-go. It wasn’t about gender roles, it was just what felt right for our dynamic.

You also don’t want to assume you know what the true costs of courtship entail. A good friend of mine was getting annoyed that his girlfriend wasn’t paying her fair share. He was paying for most of the meals and movie tickets. Plus, he had to fork over gas money to drive out to see her. When he brought this up to her, she pointed out that she had made up for it by buying pricey lingerie. This was a “hidden” cost that my friend hadn’t even considered. If you’re not sure what your date is thinking, don’t be afraid to ask. That can help prevent conflict and bouts of resentment.

Start Simple

You probably don’t want to talk about credit scores, debt loads, and tax brackets on the first date — unless you want to scare them off. As the tried-and-true adage goes: Keep It Simple, Stupid (KISS). In the early days of courtship, start with the easy stuff. There’s no need to pry when all that’s required is deciding who will be paying for dinner.

In the early days of the relationship, it might be best to observe instead of outright asking. You can learn a lot about someone’s approach to money in the spending decisions they make and their lifestyle choices. Are they are a saver or a spender? Do they generally seem optimistic about their finances, or can you sense glimmers of pessimism? Piecing together these hints can help you figure out whether they have a healthy relationship with money.

Handle With Care

Chatting about finances in a romantic partnership is no easy feat. As it can be a heavy and sensitive topic, you’ll want to approach it with finesse. I like to bring up light topics when it comes to money, such as finding a bargain at my favorite online store. If I feel like talking about my finances, I’ll do so in a way that could lead to a deeper discussion. If they’re not feeling it, don’t pressure them to share.

And whatever you do, don’t judge. People might feel shame about not earning enough, or about their debt situation. (Yes, debt shame is a very real thing.) If you’re going to approach a tricky subject, come from a place of empathy and understanding.

Time the Ask

Getting financially naked is essential to a healthy relationship. Once you get more serious, you’ll need to pull back the hood and reveal the state of your finances. This includes your credit card debt, net worth, how much you earn, as well as your hopes, fears, and concerns about money.

Yes, it’s a lot. But the last thing you want in your relationship is financial infidelity, or keeping a money secret from your S.O. If you don’t know where your partner stands, you won’t be able to build a life together based on shared values. Talking about money is oftentimes difficult and scary. But doing so will help you build trust.

Know There Will Be Differences

We come in with our own mindsets, behaviors, and habits around money. If you and your partner have different ways of handling money, you’ll need to communicate boundaries, expectations, and work on shared goals.

My partner and I have pretty different ways on how we treat our money. I am super cautious, and need a lot tucked away for emergencies to feel safe. My partner feels comfortable having a smaller cushion for his rainy day fund. My threshold for what makes me feel safe isn’t the same for him. He doesn’t own a credit card, and pays for everything upfront. While I pay off my credit card balance in full each month, I love racking up those credit card points!

Pencil in Money Dates

Most of my coupled money nerd pals carve out time to go on money dates with their significant others. It’s a perfect time to discuss progress on shared money goals, share wins, and hash out any issues. You can make it fun. Get out of the house, and chat over coffee or ice cream. As you most likely each lead busy lives, you can squeeze in a time to chat while driving to dinner once a week.

Dating is expensive, and talking about money is hard. But unless you swear to a life of singlehood, these are costs and challenges you’ll need to take into account. With a bit of know-how, planning and tact, you can incorporate finances into dating and relationships like a pro.

This article was originally published at HiCharlie.com.

by Jackie Lam | Mar 13, 2019

4/15/2019 08:08:00 PM No comments

Anyone here a mega-fan of Game of Thrones? *raises hand*

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, this series has been taking the world by storm and many of us are both excited and sad about the last season.

While you can marvel at the awesome costumes, cry when Daenerys Targaryen’s baby (aka dragon) Viserion was killed, or wince when skulls get crushed (too many to name here), Game of Thrones has a lot to teach us about money. If you pay close attention, the dialogue and symbolic imagery weaved throughout the series can show you a thing or two about how to handle your money the right way.

Let’s take a stroll through the Seven Kingdoms, shall we?

Photo by mauRÍCIO santos on Unsplash

Always Be Prepared

Spoiler alert: By the end of season seven the White Walkers are on the brink of breaking through the Wall and heading into Westeros. While the Night’s Watch has done a decent job, they’re kind of helpless at this point. And White Walkers are scary AF. Have you seen the Night King lately? He even has his own dragon of the dead now.

What can we learn from the dire situation in Westeros? There will always be circumstances out of your control when it comes to finances. A tree could suddenly fall on your roof, or you could find out you need to replace the battery in your car. What you can control is how you react to ambiguous situations. Just like Jon Snow is actively trying to find solutions and make weapons out of dragonglass, you too can arm yourself with things like an emergency fund. That way, when the unexpected happens, you’re well prepared for battle.

Pay What You Owe

As the Braavosi say, “The Iron Bank will have its due.” When Cersei Lannister took over the Iron Throne she inherited a debt to the Bank from those who sat before her of six million gold dragons. Fun, right?

No matter what kind of debt — whether it’s student loans, credit card debt, or your mortgage payment — you have to pay it back. Imagine how much freer you’ll feel seeing your debt balance inch closer towards zero. Paying off debt also means you’ll avoid serious damage down the line, like a super low credit score or possibly being sued for your debts.

While you don’t want to pull a Cersei and wipe out a whole family to take their money (RIP Tyrell family), you’re smart enough to find a good solution to your debt repayment journey. Try to make more than the minimum payments — working overtime or starting a side hustle. Whatever it is, keep your eye on the debt repayment prize.

Create a Nest Egg

You know Daenerys Targaryen? The shy girl who ended up commanding a massive army and becoming mother to three dragons? Yes, her. Daenerys Targaryen — Lady of Dragonstone, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, The Unburnt.

When we first got to know her, Daenerys was a shy girl about to be married off, given three dragons eggs as a wedding present. After her fortunes fall — aka her husband dies and she loses the support of those around her — the eggs hatch. Multiple times people offered to buy the eggs from her (tempting!) but she resisted, waited, and it paid off.

Now that her dragons are well-known and frankly, feared, she’s probably glad she kept those eggs. As as the dragons continue to grow, the more power she’ll have. She’s treated her dragons like children, and in return she can leverage their powers.

Now you may not literally have eggs (probably wouldn’t be that helpful for you TBH), but you can build a nest egg. It could be as simple as setting aside $25 every paycheck and increasing your savings or building an emergency fund. Consider putting your nest egg into a high interest savings account or build your retirement savings with a 401k or Roth IRA such as your employer’s 401k.

The important thing is to start making your money work for you. As your nest egg grows, you can feel safe knowing you can leverage it in times of need. Imagine that you’ve been saving diligently for a house and you have a sizeable amount set aside. The perfect house comes to market and you want to put in an offer. The 20 percent down payment you have helps avoid paying mortgage insurance, lowers how much you need to borrow, and gets you started on the right financial foot.

Knowledge is Key

There’s a reason why so many financial experts want to teach you about money: financial literacy is the stepping stone to improving your finances.

Be like Petyr Baelish, who has used his knowledge and smarts to move up the ranks (but maybe he shouldn’t be your role model, we all know what happens there). Or surround yourself with maesters— aka financial professionals — who you can provide professional guidance. Or channel your inner Tyrion Lannister who seems to thrive using his smarts.

Sure, ignorance is bliss, but it can also lead you down a dark path with your finances. You want to arm yourself with the basics of personal finance first, then continue to educate yourself before you make any huge financial decisions. Prepare yourself with the right tools to weather the storms when winter does come.

This article was originally published at HiCharlie.com.

by Sarah Li Cain | Apr 11, 2019

4/15/2019 01:54:00 PM No comments

4/03/2019 12:26:00 PM No comments

4/02/2019 11:07:00 PM No comments

Let’s talk money goals. What are yours?

Photo by Skitterphoto from Pexels

If you have a big, audacious financial goal, it can seem really overwhelming — maybe you’re wondering how you can keep yourself motivated, or how to tackle the goal in the first place.

What if there’s a fun way to do it that also gives you the opportunity to unleash your creativity?

Visual Goals FTW

Yup, I’m talking about turning your goals into a visual masterpiece. Aspiring Rembrandt or not, being able to see your goals can increase your chances of achieving them.

Whatever your goal is, achieving the dang thing can see scary. I know when I had a goal to save for a down payment on a house, I had no idea how I was going to set aside tens of thousands of dollars. However, creating a visual goal serves two purposes — you see the tangible effects of your goal and break it down in a realistic way. It’s like eating an elephant: you eat it one bite at a time.

What do I mean by visual goals? Simple: you’re creating a way to track the progress of your goals alongside the overall goal. There are a myriad of examples online, like debt payoff charts you color in, or coloring pages for savings goals.

Let’s look at an example:you decide you want to set aside $10,000 to replace your roof. You can create a large poster replica of your home and draw roof shingles where each one represents $100 towards your goal. Every $100 you set aside, you get to color in one roof shingle.

Or let’s say you want to save $2,000 for your next family vacation. It can be hard to imagine with bills to pay off and everyday expenses piling up. Instead, break it down starting with a drawing of your dream spot.How about $5 or $10 dollars here and there? Soon, those $5 or $10 dollars will stack up — and you’ll get a buzz every time you color in another palm tree on the picture of an island you drew to represent your dream vacation.

Sound silly? Get this: People who write down their goals are 33% more likely to achieve them. Visual goals can absolutely help you work towards them.

Turn It Into a Game

Setting visual goals can be fun because it gamifies the saving journey. Make a cool poster or a chart that you keep in your where you see it everyday, you want to fill it up or have it all colored in. Every time you pass by you’ll think, “How can I color in that flower petal faster?” or, “OMG only $300 until I get to color that bike tire in!”

Even creating the visual goal tracker can be a game in and of itself. First, you’ll need to think about what you want it to look like and then find a way to break it down into parts you can color. It’ll also force to you crunch numbers to see what the final goal amount is, and what each milestone will be. (And determining reasonable benchmarks! As in, if you’re looking to pay down debt, what’s more realistic: $50 or $100 increments?)

Ultimately, you’ll start to think of money as something other than a source of worry. Come on, you’re coloring in a poster or creating a piece of art. It’s not just about being good or bad with your money, it’s about finding a fun way to track your accomplishments as you work towards your goals.

I’m Convinced. How Do I Create One Of These Things?

There’s no right or wrong way to create a visual goal. As long as you make it clear what your overarching goal is and breaking it down in increments, let your inner Picasso shine!

For example, Amy Jones from Map Your Progress creates posters of swirls that join together to form one large image. If you use one of these or something similar, each swirl would represent part of your savings or debt slaying goal.. Your overall goal is achieved when the whole thing is colored in.

Start by determining what your goal is — get specific in the dollar amount. Maybe you have credit card debt to pay off, or you want to set aside money for your 10th-anniversary trip. Once you determined the total amount, break it down into smaller chunks. For example, f you’re setting aside money to pay off $5,000 worth of credit card debt, divide that amount by 50, so each part of your visual goal represents $100.

Not into coloring inside the lines? Get as creative as you want.

Here are some examples to get your artistic juices flowing:

Build a Lego castle and as you pay down your debt, take out one block until it’s totally demolished.
Print some cute labels and stick them onto a bunch of jars. . As you fill them up with literal cash (or use something like buttons to represent the money), change the labels or screw on a lid to indicate that jar is filled.
Create a large thermometer (like the ones you see for charities when they set donation goals) and set it on an easel in your kitchen for your family to see.
Create a spreadsheet in your planner or bullet journal — there are TONS of templates out there.
Use a wall in your home and great an image using sticky notes. Take down a sticky note until it’s all gone!

You know you have the drive and the determination. Now go attack those financial goals.